I don't know where it really came from, but I've always been comforted by food. It started at a very young age. I had a hard time when I was growing up, and I turned to eating as a way to make me feel better. It's not that I was consciously doing it, it's just something that ended up happening. I found that when I ate something I really liked, that it would make me feel more relaxed and at ease. The trouble was that my favourite things to eat were not particularly good for me. I always really liked bread and butter, and potato chips, and chocolate bars. That sort of thing.

My family was a military family -- my father was in the army. Like other military families, we were always moving around to new cities. That has a really tough impact on children I think. It definitely bothered me. The story is common, I'm sure -- every time I moved somewhere new, I'd make a few friends here and there, and then have to move again. It left a lot of things going on inside me. I felt like nothing was totally not in control of anything happening around me, and nothing was permanent. I wanted some sort of control, and I found that in comfort foods.

My parents, God bless them, treated me very well. They couldn't help but feel bad about what they were putting me through. They tended to spoil me. There were always junk foods around the house. My Mother loved them and knew that I did too. There would be chips, popcorn, cookies, candy. My parents meant well, but they couldn't watch me all the time. They knew I was eating a lot of junk, but all they could do was tell me to watch it now and then. I don't think they or I even noticed how much weight I was putting on. It's hard to notice that when you see someone everyday.

The unfortunate effect of putting on all that weight at such a tender age was that I had more trouble than ever making friends. Kids are really cruel at that age, and they really give chubby kids a hard time. I was one of those chubby kids. I didn't have to be, I mean I shouldn't have been, but that's just the way it happened. I had a really hard time in school around the age of 11 or 12. I was not getting along with the other kids. Everyone around me was starting to develop and grow in their social lives, but I felt like I was stuck in limbo.

I felt like I really had nothing to lose, so I wanted to start dieting. Boy was that a mistake. I tried every major diet I could imagine or hear about, with really bad results. I would lose a little weight (probably water weight) and then feel really good about myself, like that was the snowball rolling down the mountain in my weight loss quest. But it never held. I always gained it back and felt really bad about it. No one could tell what was happening because I didn't look any different, but I knew. I took it all very seriously. Years of dieting also did horrible things to my body. I felt really fatigued and sick a lot of the time. I just wasn't getting the right nutrients. And I always ended up diving back into snack foods.

Grade 9 gym was a horrendous experience. All the other athletic kids would torment me in the most cruel ways. I just felt like I wanted to disappear. I usually did... into a blanket and a bag of chips on the couch. But one good thing about that experience was that I discovered something that I really liked -- running. I wasn't a great runner, but I really enjoyed doing it -- trying to pace myself, go long distances, increase my stamina. I wanted to stick with it, so I kept it up. I didn't feel like it was work, and I never wanted to quit because I found as much comfort in running as I did in eating junk food. I also wanted to increase my distance, but the main block was my size. I wasn't going to be able to run really long distances unless I lost some weight. The great thing was that I discovered that the more time I spent running, the less time I spent eating junk food -- and the less I wanted to eat junk food. Maybe it was a psychological thing, but I started craving different things. Things that would help with my nutrition and power my running. I ate more fruit and vegetables and grains, and found that I enjoyed nothing more than pasta for dinner, because it gave me lots of energy.

I don't know, I guess it was just a mental switch type of thing. I found something I liked, and stuck with it. I think that's all you really need sometimes.

Over time I found that I was automatically losing weight -- just a residual effect of all the exercise I was doing. I wasn't even trying to lose weight, but it happened, and made me feel so much better. It's like a chinese finger trap -- the more I tried to lose weight and get out, the worse things got. But now that I found something I enjoyed and relaxed into, I got right out of the hole I was in. By the time I got to my senior year in high school, I was the picture of health, and found a whole new kind of confidence. I met many friends and did a lot of things I had missed out on when I was younger. I even tried out for some of the sports teams.

Currently I'm looking forward to going to college -- I'm majoring in nutrition. I hope to help other people who have the same kinds of problems I once had.